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October 17 我不要朋友...朋友是什么东西啊... 不要朋友行不行...? 一个人不好吗...? 为什么什么事情都要朋友... 难道一个人就做不了事吗...? 许多朋友都只是挂名的... 声称是朋友... 实地里却什么也没有... 如此挂名朋友... 要来何用... 现在社会就只是读书... 没了朋友... 也许我读书会更专心... 不会被任何事情影响... 断了外界关系... 闭关读书研究自己喜爱的事... 就够了... 朋友也帮不了多少... 多了不多... 少了不少... 需要时当你是宝... 不要时当你是草... 我情愿不要... 这像在浪费时间... 不被朋友信任... 更觉得不想要朋友... 朋友到底是什么啊... 我不明白... 也不想明白... 朋友的事烦死了... 反正他们也不愿我管... 我何必自做担心... 白痴的自己... 多来找... 心里... 封闭了... 绝望了... 反正我不被需要... 去找需要自己... 让自己更有用的地方... 才不会浪费嘛... 什么都比别人弱... 一点强项事物都没有... 就只能一直跟... 何况我人缘也不好... 又不会说话... 那就别说啊... 一个人... 就什么话也不用说了... 也不用管了... 电脑是我唯一朋友... 人间的事... 好烦... 别管了... 傻啊... 自己又不是很厉害... 管人家干吗... 心情封闭... 不想再开了... 就这样一直关下去吧... 反正也没人知道的... 没人管我的... 关着门... 门会否重开... 以后再说吧... 至少现在不会开... 专心考试... 不管了... 如你们所愿... 乱... 烦... 闷... 关.... 封印... October 14 朋友朋友..... 到底是什么意思..... 没有朋友....... 到底是不是见不好的事....... 朋友...... 是陪伴你寂寞时的良伴... 可是这些朋友...... 是不是一定就会陪伴你呢..... 朋友是让你开心的人..... 也是能让你烦恼的人...... 水能载舟,亦能覆舟...... 但是有时朋友..... 却不完全能够信任....... 他们也许会在你需要帮忙时..... 却跟你闹着玩....... 最近...... 朋友间的问题越来多...... 而我却发觉...... 自己并不大被朋友所信任...... 烦恼....... 信任....... 失败....... 没了朋友.......
我会不会过的更好....... 有了朋友........ 是不是一定会过的更好...... 有时还真希望.... 自己是孤独一人... 没有朋友... 最好... 什么也不用想.... 不用理... September 29 过去过去..... 到底重不重要..... 没有了过去....... 到底是不是见不好的事....... 未来...... 到底会不会被过去影响... 要是没有任何影响...... 失去过去又有何妨..... 人说失去记忆是悲惨的事..... 但我却想把以前的事情所忘记...... 说出来...... 我过去也没什么悲伤..... 但是我却不希望....... 过去的事留在我心里..... 让我心情烦恼....... 最近...... 过去的事一直环绕在我身边...... 虽然让我的笑容一一带过...... 但是之后却又缠绕回来我身边...... 重复着....... 痛苦着....... 烦恼着....... 没了过去.......
会否让人生更美好....... 没了过去........ 能否让仇恨也忘了...... 过去心心.... 使人有快乐... 也有烦恼... 但是... 过去的事已不再重要.... 珍惜现在... 与以后............ September 26 我怎么了?我..... 到底怎么了..... 是想的太多了吗....... 心里平平的....... 感觉消失了...... 感情....也消失了...... 怎么什么都想不起..... 我到底在干吗........ SPM已开始倒数了..... 我这样的心情...... 考试根本就不可能...... 在人面前.....我根本就没有烦恼....... 所有事情都能一笑搁置..... 这种样子....... 却不是出于伪照....... 然而...... 最近我却...... 孤独.......真不好受...... 为什么...... 虽然上天赐了喜怒哀乐给我们....... 喜能让人感受温馨....... 怒能让人觉得烦恼....... 哀能让人觉得悲伤....... 乐能让人感受开心....... 要是怒与哀并不存在..... 世界会变得更美好....... 朋友之间没有仇恨........ 没有猜忌烦恼...... 每天开开心心.... 不就够了吗........
真希望.... September 25 没用的人R今天，她因为没去学校被罚了...... 罚站在草场.....虽然说都是在树阴的..... 但是......我真的不想看见她被罚啊...... 昨天，我知道她今天要被罚了，但是却什么办法都没有..... 在学校.....看见她被罚了..... 真的心痛......我真的不想她被罚的...... 我真的恨自己没用...... 帮不上她..... 想下去看她，她又会说我烦的..... 她还要被罚多两天啊....... 不能上课叻....... 我真的很想帮她..... 我什么都不能做...... 我真的没用...... 没用啊....... 什么都做不到...... 保佑啊...... 太阳别这么晒啦....... 她顶不顺的啊..... 就快PMR了..... 他病了就糟了..... September 24 感情...有感情的人...... 真的好吗？ 开心，能让一个人失去烦恼..... 但是同样被称为感情的伤心...... 能让一个人断肠..... 自杀....什么都有...... 就算人，能够活得一时的开心..... 但是伤心的事情真的能因此忘掉吗？ 伤心的事情发生了...... 无论你如何的开心...... 伤心的事还是会留在你心里..... 有多少人能让这伤痕磨灭呢........ 开心了又能如何..... 难道开心后伤心的事不会再发生吗？ 难道开心后伤心的事会变得不再伤心吗...... 正如上篇BLOG.... 让自己成为人偶吧..... 没有感情......什么都解决......
September 22 人偶我..... 好想让自己成为人偶..... 毫无感情的人偶....... 没有感觉....... 没了感觉...... 就不会伤心.....不会难过...... 什么感觉都没有.....真好........ PMR倒数10天了..... 我却越来越糟...... 若我是个人偶.....这一切都不会发生....... 所有我因为感情发生的事情..... 都不会发生....... 感情......让一个人象人...... 但是这感情却害了我.......和许多人...... 为什么......上天赐了感情给我们....... 却因为这种感情伤了我们....... 我真希望..... 我是一个没有感情，感觉的人....... 统统事情都不会发生........ 这有多好...... 但是，许多已经发生的事情.... 想挽回已经不可能..... 难道上天正在戏弄我们吗............ September 20 我很煩？.......我很烦？........
没错........
由多次观察发现.......这是个事实......
可以说我对人很烦......
也能说我自己本身在烦......
这两件事都证明了......
我真的很烦.......
我也真想改的......希望自己对人别这么烦......
但是如何呢......
烦.....已经害了我几次了........
我不想再这样下去啊........
因为烦.....就有些人不想理我了.......
也因为烦......我什么都想不了.......
我真的很想改的......但是该如何啊.......
我不想再烦人....也不想继续这么烦了....... September 14 who will know???大自然下雨了.......... 这场雨.....是我造成的........ 我做了什么............ 把大自然毁了......... 树木枯萎了............ 河水干了............... 是我骚扰了大自然............ 我心碎了............... 灵魂消失了............ 骚扰了大自然的我....... 不能饶恕............ 不能原谅............ 世界末日即将来临............ 大自然正准备......... 我不该去骚扰............ 自己也改准备准备........... 世界末日结束那天........... 大自然将会重现.......... 到时才欣赏大自然也不迟吧...... September 13 there is nthing i can do............today is her birthday le.........
but i can do nthing................
sms???her hp not open.........or wat happen i don know........
gift???she wont accept de......
all juz i can do is..................
juz wish her.........................
n also..........look like someone angry me liao.........
i do nothing..........................
wat hv i do........................... September 10 quite fun.......today.....my dad office hv a family day trip to muar....
in a hotel de..........
at there.......hv a telematch............
treasure hunt a 1st.......4 group we get the mark last second.....hahahaha...shit
then the other all not fun de........
after that......abt 2.00, is a free time.....
in the hotel hv a place which alot of rope, got 5 step, u should climb all.....
i go to climb......so fun ........
but the rope........make my hand have "shui pao".....so pain!!!!!!!!
after that i stil go swim ar!!!!!the water make me so pain.............
T_T
then 4,30, we come back from there, at abt half way, 5.30+
TRAFIC JAM!!!!ABT 10 CAR+ BROKEN ALONG THE ROAD!!!!!!
BMW, TAXI, KANCIL, WAT CAR ALSO GOT!!!!
SO KESIAN......... sori so long didnt write blog.....this is for yesterday blog
so long didnt write blog......
coz there are nthing to write.......
9/9,
today, i, my mom n her fren form a group hving a one day trip....
visit 3 place.........
the 1st place.......
temoko "tao chi"(in chinese) factory.....
quite nice.......learn so manything there......
second....we arrive to a place draw batik......
so of coz i also colour one batik...........
quite beautiful de.....
3rd....a chocolate factory name beryl which near the sjk(c) serdang baru 2
the factory is so small......n we know how chocolate be process at there......
August 31 peaceful place.......yesterday.....me n my family go to my parent fren house.....
overnight........
at don know wat place......
inside forest...........
all tree...............
got one big big big house......actually not house, call 'bie shu' in chinese.....
surround by tree.......so cool.......so beautiful.......
many fresh air.........realli a peaceful place i even been........
when we arrive alreadi 11.30pm.....
but at that place....u wont feel tired.........a peaceful place surround by nature......
a house bigger than my house two time......no nid fan at room also cool.......
the nxt day.....they bring us to another house more inside to the forest........
when we arrive.....SHIT!!!!!!
a house!!not!!!is bigger than a banglo!!!!twice the banglo!!!
4 times my house!!!!!the house many surround by a forest!!!!
the house veri high!!!!!almost same high to the tree in the forest liao.......
a biggest house i even seen!!!!!the most peaceful place!!!!!
if when i old....got a place for me like this......i can become a god....... August 24 omg.....so damn.....today we go kasturi tuition........
abt 9.00o'clock we already wait at the bus stop........
go by rapid KL, then KTM..............
the most damn is.........
abt 5pm.........the time finish lesson........
Rain!!!!!!!we run in the heavy rain toward the KTM station........
all person already so wet!!!!!!!!!!!
no one without wet..........damn lo.......so cold.........
arrive home already abt 7pm..........
shit 8.00o'clock wan to go tuition again........
crazy people is me.............
i will recover n wait now......
wait PMR finish.............
n i will not be so crazy anymore........ August 22 finally........finally.......i get the permission to go mid valley with my fren to watch movie......
but today tuition nid to change to saturday........haiz..........
we go n watch the movie doraemon.........hahaz.......
quite fun........n nice.............
the movie end at 4 pm.....n we go to the game center ply.........
woo is a racer........so pro in plying initial D.........
so boring abt today.....but its better than going tuition becoz got fren ply.......
can rest.....no nid keep read,...n read......n read.........
but we cannot don read ......
this is becoz,.......
tomorow....tomorow.....n tomorow.......
the PMR exam will coming soon............ August 21 so fan.....so fan......y our country got PMR de.....
PMR will kill me....................
becoz of PMR........i lost freedom........
becoz of PMR........less entertainment for me........
but although i know PMR coming.......
i also don wan to read....don know y.........
so lazy to read book...................
so hate PMR!!!!!!!!y we should take this exam......
n also one more the SPM........hate it...... August 20 confuse.....confuse....10/18 our school will hv a trip to petro sains.......
onli for class 3 daisy 1- 3 daisy 4..........
of coz her class also got.......each class nid 32 ppl go........
but i ask my fren she got go or not.....
some say she got........some say no.........
realli confuse liao.........i realli hope she go........
but i cant know........don know who is telling the truth
who can tell me plz.......
i realli confuse liao!!!! August 19 damn...wat should i doMe....finally know her b'day date..........
but although i know, i cant do anything......cant buy anything for her......
she sure dun accept de............
so hard to get her b'day date....but i cant do anything for her..........
so damn.........
wat should i do leh....
today the stupid lopet ply dota with me n yong kean.....
he lose until pk.........haha so fun...........
later i nid to go back hometown.....Johor.....
so far.......3 hours watse ...........
August 18 die lo....die loToday for form 3 student like me is a nice day because today is last day for trial exam........
But the stupid teacher.......
Pn.Chew!!!!I REMEMBER U!!!!
Today such a nice day.....y u give us back the exam paper!!!!!!!
n also y my exam for bad this time!!!!!
My Math is my best subject for me!!!!i cant get B for my math!!!!!!
But y i get B!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My onli best subject!!!!!!!this time no hope le.....other subject all sure die de.......
geo die.....sejarah die...kh die.....science also not veri good........
My PMR sure die this time lo...............
Result so "fan".....
Her thing also "fan".....
i almost die lo....... August 17 crazy liao.......Haiz...me going to be crazy.......keep getting tuition tuition tuition.....damn it.........
Monday to Friday also got tuition......crazy me........
Last time I ask someone to ask her again.....y she so hate me.............
answer is stil the same..........."fan".........
I think i didnt "fan" her at all leh...........
maybe she think i always appear infront her.........
but i have try to avoid.....but at last also will meet her de....cannot avoid....
Really don know wat to do.........
how to make her not so hate me..........
Once she can don hate me......already enogh.......
I don nid anything.....juz she can don hate me....enogh....everything enogh....
wat should i do........
August 01 得空没事做...写一些在2005年日本文化节....我幸运的遇到了她.... 虽然那时我对她已经有一些好感....但是那时我却没发现我已经喜欢上她了...... 那时我正要考Pusat Sumber，但没想到她尽然就是我的组长........ 那时我还不觉得怎样，但是，2个月后....... 我失败考入Pusat Sumber， 就在那时，我才发现........ 我真后悔当时考试不考好一点...... 后悔为什么这么迟才发现.... 全都已经太迟了.... 在学校年尾假期的时候..... 说是说我一直星期六到学校看跆拳道练习.... 其实...... 就这样一直到考学都没什么事的.... 但突然有一天， 我也不知道我做了什么事.... 也不知如何让她知道了我喜欢他的事情.... 我朋友就告诉我说她很讨厌我.... 但她却不会告诉我... 只是告诉我朋友..... 我在学校和她简直没有交谈.... 朋友告诉她自己来跟我讲她也不肯...... 我也没有勇气去问她.... 要是她能来告诉我也须我可以作出一些选择.... 能让我选择应不应该继续下去..... 但现在她不告诉我...... 我也不懂该不该继续下去...... |
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